Surefire Symptoms You Were A 2000s Gay Teen On Lengthy Isle

Guaranteed indicators You Were A 2000s Gay Teen On extended Island because told by all of our resident longer isle Lesbian,
Dayna Troisi.

Spray tans. MTV’s “Area Raiders.” Having an inexplicable crush on Janis Ian. Sharp the tongue in another person’s basement enclosed by successful Bunny posters. Constantly caught between becoming emo and guidette. Obtaining pushed into lockers.

Each one of these things make up the strangely specific connection with being a homosexual child on
Lawng Isle
in early 2000s. There is definitely something in the water on
Extended Island
, because there are more homosexuals than
nail salons
. I’m sure this really is unbelievable, as suburbia is commonly a conventional wasteland, but that is what they need one think. In fact, we are gay as hell. All my
and greatest friends tend to be queers from isle of Long.

Therefore, if not one person otherwise pertains to this list, i understand you spray-tanned, sauce-eating, fist-pumping gays will get it. Love and please share with the graduating class and go my
insta handle
to the lesbians whom escaped their own hometowns and then make more than six numbers today.

Here are 131 indicators that you were an extended Island
gay teenager
inside 2000s. Indeed, this list is actually loooong because we have been extra AF– our eyelashes and databases are hella lengthy– they do not say “lengthy Island” for absolutely nothing.


. You’d a GSA in your senior high school

And you also reported you’re simply an “ally.”

2. you’d gay cybersex in AOL nyc chatroom


3. you’d a key Myspace page

Where you joined lesbian teams and had intensive interactions with other queer adolescents littered across America.

4. You secretly viewed
“The L Word”
and frantically flipped back once again to Nickelodeon any time you heard the mom’s footsteps approaching

Your reflexes had been on point together with the remote control.

5. You
this dark model

Extended isle gays are often amazing in bed as a result of these.

6. You had been suspiciously proficient at ingesting these

7. You believed the Long isle moderate was going to view you for the food store and out you to your whole family members

8. Ugly
straight ladies
insisted you had a crush in it

Just as if.

9. You’d an all-consuming crush on a punk senior

Mine had a fohawk and wore safety pins as earrings.

10. “The Perks to be A Wallflower” rocked your own globe

And in that second, I swear we had been



11. You dressed in
black lip stick

Because understanding getting queer without subverting ~norms~?

12. You’re darkly obsessed with Sylvia Plath

Im. I will be. I will be. GAY.

13. Your own English instructor was actually your best buddy



14. facts Or Dare was actually your preferred sleepover game

You have not lived any time you failed to make an effort to bribe your best friend into daring that kiss your crush.

15. You’re inexplicably activated from the noise of mac ‘n’ cheddar being stirred

Acknowledge it.

16. You had a fabulous gay son BFF

Whom lowkey is actually way too sweet for you personally now, really works in vogue, and hangs down with a bunch of directly versions.

17. You could potentiallyn’t decide if you desired to-be Avril Lavigne or do the woman

a link seemed dreadful on myself, and so I realize that i simply wanted to rest together with her.

18. You had been throughout the
softball staff
, or you are a vintage, unsporty lez just like me, the tv show choir

19. You’re throughout the debate team

And always contended pro-choice.

20. You heard Regina Spektor and Kate Nash

21. You sang a rare monologue for the skill show

Mine had gotten me dangling.

22. You had key rendezvous when you look at the ladies’ bathroom

No kiss will ever measure with the adventure in the high school bathroom hug.

23. You participated in “day’s Silence”

As an “ally,” obviously.

24. You had been


frightened of being outed towards moms and dads

We arrived on the scene to my personal mom within gyno, because I ridiculously stressed she’d inform my personal mom I experienced a LESBIAN vagina.

25. You had no sex training and now have never utilized a
dental dam

Sorry to all the you sex educator ladies who went along to Smith College. I guess you must never rest with a lengthy Island lez?

26. You decided to go to Warped trip or Bamboozle

And dressed in Jac Vanek and TWLOHA jelly necklaces.

27. And requested band members from Cobra Starship to signal the body parts

Gabe Saporta signed my boob, and my personal mother took aside my personal AIM profile.

28. You viewed gay crap on
and stated it was an accident and for a college job

29. You have gigantic acrylic
because not homosexuality may when it comes to a lengthy isle girl’s beauty regimen

Lesbian fail, but fashion winnings.

30. You stained squirt brown all-over some sporty lesbians sheets the 1st time you hooked up

Sorry about that.

31. You self


had intercourse within bra as you happened to be putting on a bombshell push up bra from Victoria’s Secret

All our boobs appeared two sizes larger than they really were ‘cause of the silly bras. I found myself a 36E with one, and that I appeared as if a demented pervy anime.

32. You frantically desired to get on
Jersey Shore

33. You didnot have to lay to visit a woman’s residence

The single thing which makes it far more easy to develop up

34. House functions had been filled with underground homosexual debauchery

The basement is where the gay crap happens.

35. You seemed to find out if your own ring-finger was longer than the tip digit to find out if perhaps you were truly a lesbian

As you heard it as you secretly watched “The L keyword.”

36. Or got “have always been we gay?” exams

I unequivocally realized I found myself gay at 13 yrs old because Quizilla said I was.

37. You


gay material on that dark web site
Ebaums Globe

38. Whenever youtube ended up being devised, you sweatily searched “girls kissing” on your own family members’ computer system in the exact middle of the evening

Which directed to…

39. You downloaded porn to Quicktime (this was pre-Pornhub, youngins!)

40. You had to
bring some guy to prom
, but nevertheless slept with a girl that evening

41. You physically fought a person that flirted along with your sweetheart one or more times

You are not from lengthy isle if you haven’t punched your partner when you look at the face at Pride.

42. You used to be hopelessly in deep love with a
straight girl
whom skateboarded

43. You had to attend “religion class”

The highlight of my senior high school career ended up being getting fingered within the chapel bathroom.

44. “All The Things She stated” by t.A.T.u. was the shit

45. You smoked smoking cigarettes on coastline in cold temperatures inside automobile

And thought you’re so cool and alt.

46. You drove 20 minutes to visit the drive-thru Dunkin’

Though there seemed to be a walk-in one all the way down the block.

47. You drove a couple of hours in order to get Sonic in nj-new jersey

In case you haven’t caught on, indeed there really wasn’t much to complete.

48. You drove as your just way to obtain fun

Will you be observing a pattern here?

49. You kept reading about LIGALY while understanding might rather perish than action base in LIGALY

Actually loser closeted teens on lengthy Island have actually standards. We wanted to celebration in a dark pub, perhaps not eat stale donuts in a residential area center.

50. You possessed a Ryan Cassata CD

That you ordered as he checked out the GSA.

51. You h

offer a crush on a female exactly who went along to a catholic college

52. You “hated” your mother but spent every single day along with your mom

The family codependency is actual.

53. You skipped junior prom

I spent junior prom consuming at helpful’s with all the other gays.

54. You concentrated so very hard on to the ground from inside the locker area you nearly fell over

Jesus forbid a lady thinks you are looking at the woman training bra.

55. Will Most Likely Die If You Don’t Dressed In Converse

56. You received tattoos all over yourself (because slicing ended up being too serious)

We were also protected and responsive to reduce.

57. You went along to Hot Topic after that remaining since you had gotten threatened

Because there was actually usually a hot dyke working on register, however you weren’t edgy enough on her behalf.

58. However you happened to be also as well afraid to go into Abercrombie or Hollister

Because it had been dark colored and smelly inside — and since you were significantly keen on the softball lez greeting teenagers at the home.

59. You bought rainbow


regarding the DL at Spencer’s

60. “Hairstyles of this Damned” rocked the globe

Every queer child read this in the shuttle.

61. So did “The Catcher During The Rye”

And thus, you turned into instructor’s animal.

62. You confided inside pet puppy, pet, or hamster

because no one else ~got you~

63. You had close friends pendants from Claire’s with a girl you wound up online dating

64. You blogged committing suicide notes as a hobby

With zero goal of previously after through, you just like, required the *release.*

65. You’ve got an exceptionally morbid, dark, and politically wrong spontaneity

See 64.

66. You simply can’t remain Personal Justice Warriors.

Very long Islanders do not have perseverance for buzzwords.

67. You totally are unlearning your entire f*cked up prejudices, however.

Being gay doesn’t push you to be exempt from that.

68. You were obsessed with 3oh!3.

Tell your sweetheart, if according to him he’s had gotten beef, that I’M A VEGAN, AND I ALSO AIN’T F*CKING SCARED OF HIM.

69. You browse to leave a grim reality, however you just ended up checking out guides about younger homosexual adolescents being hate-crimed anyway

Or you had been hate-crimed to be a loser just who reads.

70. You employ “hate crime” as a colloquialism.

71. You purchased

a “gay road” sign up the field visit to the city

And hid it within wardrobe.

72. You hung a Pride banner in your locker and got a Myspace photo along with it

73. You had a DeviantArt membership

Mine unfortunately however is available.

74. You believed extremely deeply that you relate genuinely to Matthew Shepard and Laramie Wyoming while having next to nothing in common except for being gay

And you also was the star in “The Laramie venture,” guided by your unusual crisis instructor.

75. You have made insensitive laughs when it comes to “The Laramie venture” since if you weren’t chuckling, you were whining.

My closest friend and I nevertheless go hysterical everytime we say “the shining lighting of Laramie.”

76. You went through your own yearbook and guessed who you believed was actually homosexual too

77. You used to be in a love-hate commitment with your songs teachers

78. You dramatically looked out the shuttle window with regards to rained

79. You understood every range to lease


80. You played 7 Minutes In Heaven at an all-girls sleepover


81. You keep in mind becoming so desperately troubled you had beenn’t welcomed on the all-girls sleepover in which you’re CERTAIN they played 7 Minutes In paradise


82. You pretended becoming scared during horror movies to put up the pal’s hand

Oldest trick when you look at the guide, ladies.

83. You consumed the sorrows in Elio’s Pizza as soon as you got house from softball practice

The actual fact that there had been 10 remarkable pizzerias in a two-mile distance of your home.

84. You had a Nextel walkie-talkie telephone

Tegan and Sara
was actually your own religion

86. P!nk

ended up being your distress

Missundaztood nevertheless slaps.

87. You considerably cried in your bed room hearing “face”

Despite the fact that your property life was actually actually fairly amazing and your mother was in your kitchen making sauce while the dad ended up being walking canine you ~swore~ you’d look after.

88. You carried a skateboard around but could not in fact skate

89. You carried smoking cigarettes around but failed to really smoke cigarettes

We pushed my ex to transport smokes every-where to look hard.

90. You probably did anything to stay away from gym course

Luckily for us, I have a disability. Additional gays had to have more innovative.

100. You said you used to be bi

However were actually homosexual just like the time is actually long.

101. You decided to go to
Fire Island
every summer without ever realizing it was gay core

HOW performed I maybe not know I became very close to countless dykes?

102. You totally understood what your wellness teacher was referring to when she mentioned her roomie

I got the largest crush to my health instructor.

103. You wore rainbow sweatbands


104. You spent weekends drinking around dirty exercise equipment in a person’s cellar

You’ren’t cool adequate to drink in parking a lot you drank near to your mom’s Gazelle.

105. You obsessively curated your myspace leading 8

106. You diverted the interest from your self by making fun of somebody more in locker place


107. You begged your own mommy to order you shit from infomercials

108. You binged on nasty snacks like Cosmic Brownies and Kool-Aid after college

109. You played those Barbie liven up video games online so you may simply take their particular clothes off

You dirty perv.

110. You corrupted the neighbors by creating each of their Sims flirt with ladies

111. You kissed ladies as a “game” as you happened to be “acting”

112. You saw “Boys You should not Cry” since only gay content material in GSA and had been scared back to the cabinet somewhat

113. Then you definitely saw “But I’m a Cheerleader” and had gotten much more afraid

114. If you’re lucky, you’d one
queer aunt
just who stayed in NYC and provided you hope.

115. You furiously masturbated to MTV music films

I’ll most likely never your investment first time We watched the “Genie In a container” video clip.

116. The cool ladies which bullied you’ve got numerous children and work with a



Hey! i understand we’ve gotn’t discussed in a while. How have you been lady?! had been wondering if you were thinking about mastering a lot more about Mary Kay?

117. You viewed “Next” together with the doorway closed because it ended up being a bisexual event


118. You snuck peeks of titties through the 18+ portion of the video store

119. You viewed Scrambled Porn Channel on route 99

120. You experienced the heartbreak to be within mall and seeing right lovers holding arms and sensation such as that will not be your

121. You have got out with making call at the hallway since the teachers don’t want to be accused of hate crime-ing you

122.  You w

atched “Donnie Darko” with queer artwork young ones and


to want it to fit right in

The F*CK ended up being up with that film?

123. You composed I <3 **** on the notebooks

Because you were too scared to truly compose your crush’s title.

124. You enjoyed “Twilight”

Or felt a smug feeling of superiority for hating it.

125. You had crippling stress and anxiety on
National Being Released Time

126. You actually believed driving a car of goodness if your moms and dads spoken of gay people

127. You burned CDs with custom playlists for women you had crushes on

128. You dated a woman with an eating condition

129. You dated a lady whilst having your very own eating condition but hers had been worse so that you needed to focus on that

Told you Long Islanders have actually improper sensory faculties of laughter.

130. You wore men’s room


to draw the


131. You evidently have actually plenty of repressed injury, and you’re recognizing it as you’re causeing the number

However you can not end cackling along with your closest friend who you survived every thing with.